Awkward dates are beginning to turn into a specialty of mine. I am literally laughing to myself right now sitting down writing all of this, looking back at some of my most awkward dating mishaps over the years.
I just wanted to dedicate this to all of you out there who are easing their way back into the dating scene (or maybe even trying it for the first time ever), because although it’s not exactly one of the easiest things to do, it can still be super fun and the unexpected memories you end up making can certainly put a smile on your face when you look back on your dating adventures and misadventures in the future.
The Noodle Suction
Oh gosh. I am cringing so much as I think this was one of the most embarrassing things I have ever done on a date. I was on a cute little dinner date with a certain summbowdy and everything was going so well. I loved spending time with this guy so as you can imagine, I was on cloud 9. It was all perfect until I got so into our conversation that I started to really speak and had totally forgotten that I still had a couple of thicc strands of noodles left in my mouth. As he was intently staring into my eyes as I was beginning to speak, out goes a whole thick strand of noodle that slid out of my mouth, which I immediately sucked back in. The motion of that damn noodle reminded me of how a cuckoo clock would operate, when it would strike a certain time and the cuckoo bird would come shooting out then would go back in. I was the clock and noodle was the bird. So attractive.
His reaction: *long awkward pause*
A wild roar of laughter followed suit. I knew he wasn’t the type to keep reactions in, so of course, he laughed so much and I agonisingly laughed along with him as I was still so embarrassed. When that noodle slid out, I was so shocked that my eyes looked directly at that noodle hanging from my mouth, which made me go cross-eyed as well. The lesson learnt here is never to bite off more than I can chew, especially when eating noodles on a date.
The Purple Monster
I was on holiday with a guy I really liked, I mean what more can a girl ask for right?! We weren’t officially a couple then but we had been spending a lot of time together for over a year at that point and feelings were very much lingering in the air. So I was definitely in that giddy state of mind. We were in one of the world’s most romantic cities as well so I was so happy and felt all boo’d up like no other. He took charge of booking our flights and hotel, so when it came to my attention that he had booked for us to stay in the same hotel room for the entire length of our vacation, yo gurl dead ass shaved, plucked, exfoliated and moisturised all areas with absolutely zero spots missed. Damn! On our first night, the plan was to have a “few” drinks at the hotel first, then we were going to go explore the city’s nightlife. Now, I’m not a huge drinker and I kid you not, ever since this night, I’ve virtually become a non-drinker periodt. Okay, maybe I would have a cocktail or two at events but that would literally be it for me. The drinks he made us had a little somethin’ somethin’ in the mix that I didn’t react to very well – it was rum. As a highly experienced victim of the ‘Asian flush’, I was fully aware that I would go a little bit red and have a few palpitations here and there but what’s new right?! I was with him, it was worth it. But nah sis, wrong move. I discovered that very night that I was especially allergic to rum, like mega allergic! Of all the nights to discover this, it just had to be this one didn’t it? I had huge purple-pink blotches and rashes all over my face and body. I basically looked like a bunch of purple grapes. Not cute. So yeah, sadly, we didn’t make it out of our hotel that night.
This one was actually one of my first attempts at giving online dating a go. I was really feeling this guy since we definitely connected on a level. After talking everyday for the past few weeks, it was time to go on an actual date. I was beyond nervous in the lead up to our date but bless his heart, he was super lovely and he insisted that he plan the whole night himself. I, on the other hand, was just a mess. I took too long hanging around in the office and totally underestimated how long it was going to take me to get to the venue that he had booked for us to meet. What’s worse is that the venue was extremely close to the station and because that was the case, Google Maps kept telling me that I was already at the venue when I totally was NOT. 10 minutes turned into 20, then 30, which by this time I had already called him to say I was running super late. Eventually, I found the venue…an hour later. I’m terrible. I felt so awful that I practically sprinted into the restaurant as soon as I caught a glimpse of it. Out of breath, I just about managed to blurt out that I was meeting someone who’s already been sat down. The receptionist lady laughed a bit and said “oh yay, you made it!”, as she pointed behind me. Turns out, he was very patiently waiting for me by the reception area but he looked so calm and just gave me one long hug. I expected the complete opposite treatment! He had that really cheeky yet handsome smirk on his face and he just kept telling me not to worry etc etc. We finally got sat down and ordered our food. The conversation was going well when I low key noticed how he actually had such a very gentle voice, but I didn’t think much of it as he was making me laugh so much. I was thinking, yassss I am liking this guy, this is going well. Until…the food arrived.
We could both see that the waitress was coming with our food until I suddenly heard a mega loud squeal near our table. It sounded a bit like one of Mariah Carey’s high notes so I was like ooh yas (whoever you are), hello voice range!
It went a bit like this:
My date squeals: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
*Surrounding tables turn to look at our table thinking it was me*
*It wasn’t me*
Let’s just say, his voice range was so much better than mine. Like on a scale of Boyz II Men’s Mike Bass to Mariah Carey, my voice leaned more towards Boyz II Men when comparing it to how high pitched his voice went whenever he got excited about anything. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s lovely and it was fun hanging out with him, but I had to be real, the unexpected high pitched squeals wasn’t really my thing so I couldn’t see him in a romantic light anymore. He’s cool though.
There we have it. 3 of some of my most awkward dating stories that always make me laugh when I look back on them from time to time. I know dating can seem quite daunting at times but the truth is, we’re all on the same boat here. We’re allowed to make the odd mistake here and there, we’re allowed to be weird, we’re allowed to laugh at ourselves and accidentally spit crumbs of food on our date. It’s a crazy fun ride so why not take it for a spin right?! We’re just out here trying to get boo’d up and be happy. Ultimately, it’s important to be yourself so that eventually, you’ll find your perfect match. The last thing you want is to end up with someone who isn’t a genuinely great fit for you because you weren’t your true self from the beginning. Just be you and let it be. Oh and don’t forget to have fun and just laugh off awkward moments – they’re the ones that make the greatest stories.
These images were captured in the beautiful Venice Piazza, a shopping mall located at McKinley Hill Garden Villas in Taguig City in Metro Manila, Philippines ❤️